I didn’t write down the birth of Jonah or Calvin like I did Hazel. And I hope it doesn’t sound bad when I say that Hazel’s birth was the best of the three, which is maybe why I was more motivated to write it all down.  Jonah’s birth was preceded by such a long labor, and colored by my frustrations with nursing.  And Calvin was born after months of seeing the awful doctors at Wright-Patt and was very medical.  It felt more like a procedure.  Hazel was an experience.  And it was wonderful.  So this is as much for me (and maybe future Hazel if she wants to read it) as it is for you.  If you don’t read it that’s okay, I’m glad I did it just the same.  And thank you for the gentle prodding Christen, I wanted to do this and I just needed some encouragement to sit at my computer.  Side note: I tried to put pictures in where they were logical, but in some places th

This story starts on Monday, November 23rd.  I am 41 weeks, 3 days pregnant.  I have spent the last two weeks doing everything I can to encourage Hazel to come see the world.  Apparently she wasn’t interested.  So, back to Monday — I have a 10:45 doctor’s appointment which Chris is able to attend while my mom watches Calvin.  I was very sad on Monday because my mom was leaving the next day and it made me feel terrible that she would not get to see Hazel.  I wanted to enjoy my mom’s last day so I was trying to stay upbeat, but I don’t think I did a very good job.  The doctor’s appointment didn’t help at all.  I had progressed very little since the week before and they wanted to talk about induction.  I was mostly okay with this because my doctor had told me the week before that they did not have any inductions available for Thanksgiving week so I assumed we would be talking about inducing the next week which would still give Hazel time to come on her own.  My biggest reason at this point for not wanting an induction was that I really wanted a natural birth and pitocin (the drug they use to induce labor) causes stronger, more painful contractions than natural labor.  I really did want a natural birth but, despite anything I may have said to the contrary, I really doubted my ability to do it and I felt adding pitocin would make it impossible.

All in all the appointment made me feel terrible and I sat there and cried in the doctor’s office.  I was glad Chris was there.  Before I left the doc told me I needed to come back at 1:30 for a bio-physical profile (a 1 hour appointment that includes an ultrasound to check that everything is still okay).  So Chris and I run home, stopping by his work to fax something.  We have 1 hour for lunch and then take off again.  Just as we are driving down the street we hear a funny noise.  Turns out we had driven over a nail and punctured our new tire.  I had to call and push my appointment back to 3 because the flat proved more difficult to remove than we had hoped.  So, back home again, for a few minutes.  Then off to the appointment.  It took longer than expected because they had trouble getting some of the readings they wanted.  This made them concerned and they wanted to call the doctor before they let me leave.  She said it was okay, and we went home.  By this time it is 5:00 and I am exhausted.  The day had proven to be much more stressful than I had expected, and I was still stressed about my mom leaving the next day.  We did have a nice card game for Mom’s last evening, and I got to win, but that didn’t really make up for the rest of the day.

At this point you may be thinking “Wow, this is really long already and she’s not even in labor yet.”  Well, I did warn you in the title that it was very long.  It is as much for me to remember as it is for you to read, but if it gets too long you have my permission to skim to the exciting part.

Tuesday. Calvin and I take Mom to the airport around 9:00.  She asks if we want to come in with her and hang out until she has to go through security to get to her flight.  We do, and I am really glad we did.  I was still feeling so crummy about her leaving, and hanging out there with her for a couple hours and talking to her about it made me feel okay.  Calvin got to watch some airplanes land and take off and I left there feeling much better than I had in a few days.  While at the airport I got a call that my doctor wanted me to come back that afternoon at 1:00 for another bio-physical profile.  So after leaving the airport I ran home, put Calvin in bed, ate lunch and left for the appointment as soon as Chris got home.  It was another long appointment and I had to wait in the office while they called my doctor and gave her the results.  When they got off the phone they said the doctor wanted me to go upstairs immediately and start an induction.  I had decided before the appointment that if they said this (which I really didn’t think they would) I was okay with it.  I felt like it was time.  The problem was that Jonah was at school, Chris was at home with Calvin and I had our only car at the hospital.  We’ve been sharing a car for about three years and it has never been such trouble until the last month, and this was a big problem.  So I asked if I could go for a couple hours and take care of all that.  They had to check with the doctor, but I felt like this wasn’t really an emergency situation, so they should let me.  And they did.

I started by making some calls on my way out. I called my friend Shannon who immediately said it was no problem to take the boys in two hours.  I called Chris to update him and tell him to pack a bag for the boys.  I called my parents and my sister.  I got Jonah and explained to him that he and Calvin were going to have a sleepover at Ms. Shannon’s house.  He was very excited.  I ran home, Chris packed up everything we needed in the car while I had a quick snack and we all jumped in the car and left.  We stopped at Shannon’s and dropped the boys off (sneaking out so Calvin wouldn’t see us leave and freak out) and it was on to the hospital.

One phone call I made that I forgot to mention: to the doula.  We signed up for the doula program at the hospital.  You don’t get to choose your doula, you get whoever is on call, but it was affordable for us and we thought it would be a good idea.  As you’ll see later it was probably the best decision I made.  The doula was the one who reminded me (thankfully!) to have a snack, and she said she would meet us in triage.

We got to the 5th floor of the hospital around 5:00 PM and got admitted.  They took us to a room in triage where they put monitors on my belly to check Hazel’s heartbeat and if I was having any contractions.  Nancy, the doula, met us in there and was on top of things right away asking if I needed something to drink, if the light was too bright, and talking to the nurse about how long I needed to be monitored and what the plan was.  My doctor was going to be in at 7:00, so they were going to get me into a labor and delivery room but the actual induction wouldn’t start until after 7.  Side note: before the monitoring started I had to put on a hospital gown.  A little commentary on hospital “nursing” gowns — they are the worst.  They have two huge slits down the front for nursing (which are actually not convenient for their one and only purpose) and two tiny folds in the fabric that, I can only assume, are supposed to cover the slits but don’t at all.  If at this point you are thinking “that’s disturbing!” well, you didn’t have to wear it.  And have people coming in an out of the room all the time.  And see yourself in a mirror wearing it.  And try to sit on a bed and in a chair and on a ball and walk around without flashing everyone.  That’s disturbing.

Alright, back to the story.  So once the monitoring started I was having some regular contractions, but they weren’t very strong.  Nancy, our doula, suggested a few things to see if we could kick the contractions up a notch before the doctor stepped in (she knew I wanted to have a natural birth and was trying to help me get labor started without pitocin).  By the time we got settled into our labor and delivery room, however, nothing much was happening.  At 7:00 PM it was time for Nancy to go and for Dani to relieve her.  As soon as I met Dani I knew she was going to be great. Side note about doulas: get one.  I would have paid twice what we did without blinking an eye now that I’ve experienced a birth with a doula.  She rubbed my feet, my back, got me water and juice.  She was wonderful to talk to and the greatest thing she did was listen while Chris and I chatted about whatever we could think of and it was a great distraction from contractions.

THE EXCITING PART:  After Dani got there, so did my doctor. When she came in I thought, here we go, time for pitocin.  But the first thing she said was that since I was dialated to a 4 she wanted to try just breaking my water and see if that would start labor.  I was very grateful for that option.  So, at 8:30 PM she broke my water.  Not long after that I started getting regular, much stronger contractions.  They weren’t terrible yet, but they were definitely different from any I had had thus far.  So, I rocked in a chair, I sat on a big ball, and I did have to sit in the bed a lot because they were having concerns about Hazel’s heart rate.  She was fine so far, but they were wanting to keep a close eye on it and the cordless monitors were a little finicky.  Around . . . 10:30 or 11 (time was passing in funny jumps that night, so it was hard to keep track, one minute it was 8:30, the next it was 10) the nurse came in and said that if the contractions didn’t pick up soon they were going to start pitocin.  She said they would give me the absolute minimum they could, but my contractions weren’t getting closer together or stronger, so they needed to do something. Shortly after that I stood up (I had been sitting in the rocking chair and had gotten too comfortable, I think) and I immediately had a contraction.  A stronger one.  Dani suggested I try standing up for awhile and see if that helped.  While I definitely wanted to help move things along, it was 12 or 12:30 at this point and I was getting very tired.  But I stood up, and that’s when things picked up.  The contractions definitely got stronger and closer together right away.  For a little bit it was okay, but then it got to the really painful part.  Then my legs were getting too tired and I just had to lay down.  Then it got to the extremely painful part.  That’s when I started saying it was too much and I didn’t think I could do it.  And Chris and Dani were right there holding my hand, rubbing my back and saying I could.  Until this point I had felt most, if not all, of the pain in my back.  Now it was just everywhere.  I think everyone should feel grateful that this part didn’t last that long, I know I do.

So, to recap so far: me laying down in lots of pain, the contractions were coming really fast by this point, oh yeah, and I was yelling a lot.  And then, suddenly and without my permission, I was pushing.  With an epidural, for those that don’t know, you never feel the urge to push (at least I didn’t).  The doctor just tells you when it is time.  So I was totally unprepared for this and I started yelling “I’m pushing!”  Just for a little preview, from this point until Hazel was born was maybe ten minutes.  Dani went and got the nurse who checked and said I was only dialated to a 7.  She told me to stop pushing.  Well, for anyone whose been in this situation, you know that once you start it is hard to stop.  So for the next contraction I was doing that blowing breathing that you see people do on TV and I managed to repress the urge to push.  What I was thinking was — uh-oh, what if I can’t stop pushing and I have the baby when I am not fully dialated.  That didn’t seem like a good idea to me.  Side note: I have heard that checking for dialation can be somewhat subjective, meaning one person can say you are a 2 and another could say 3 and it’s not exact.  So it’s possible I was more dialated than the nurse thought.  Because the very next contraction I was pushing again and yelling “I’m pushing, I can’t stop!”  So there went Dani again to get the doctor who check and said yes, it was time and to just keep pushing.  It’s possible I went from a 7 to a 10 in one contraction, or I could have been closer than that.  Either way, the pushing was allowed and in maybe three or four good pushes (this part gets kind of fuzzy) Hazel was here.  The pushing is definitely what I am good at, all three kids have required just a few minutes and poof! baby.

Hazel was put right on my chest, and she was perfect. They had to take her for a moment because the cord was wrapped around her neck and she wasn’t breathing like she should, but then before I knew it she was back with me and nursing like a champ.  I got to sit there with her for an hour and feed her and then they did all their medically things with her after that.  I spent much of that hour yammering like an idiot because I was so happy and excited.  I kept saying “I did it, I can’t believe I did it!”  Because as much as I’d wanted to have a natural birth, I didn’t really believe that I would stick it out.  I figured my fear of pain would kick in and take over.  I was also wide awake — I couldn’t believe that I’d been tired just a few minutes before!  I think Dani called it euphoria, but I just called it great.

Eventually, once Hazel and I were all taken care of, we moved up to our room on the next floor up where we would stay the rest of that night and the next.  Dani stayed with us until we got settled, and then she took off to get some sleep.  She was the greatest, and I am so glad she was there with us.  Thank you Dani!

Our hospital stay was wonderful, and the staff there was very friendly and helpful.  Our friends Shannon and Jason watched the boys until we got discharged on Thanksgiving morning, and then they had us back over for dinner that night.  I felt so good knowing the boys were with them, it was a wonderful gift they gave us.

When the boys first saw Hazel they immediately wanted to hold her and kiss her and love her.  I am so pleased and grateful for their reaction.  They have never showed any jealousy or displayed any desire for her to not be here.  My only concern is that they might smother her with their love.

Since then things have been crazy.  Is having three kids hard.  Yes, yes it is.  But it is also wonderful, and they are wonderful.  I have just been struggling with remembering what is important and what is not.  I am trying to worry less about how clean my house is and more about spending happy time with them.  I would so much rather them remember a happy, fun, messy house then a clean, cranky house.  They are so wonderful and I don’t want to miss them because I was too worried about getting my errands done and cleaning the kitchen.  I love all three of them and I am so lucky to have them.

To see any additional pictures, click here.  Yes, we know there are repeats, and the blurry ones are from Jonah getting a hold of the camera and us not having time to take them out.